I am over here doing cartwheels (in my head). Why am I so excited? I have ONE semester to go until I am done with my MBA program. Also, as of about ten minutes ago, my application for graduation has been submitted.

Yitadee!

My coworker asked if she could buy my degree. She was dead ass too. I am trying to encourage her and tell her she can complete her undergraduate degree. She's been in school for two years and is feeling blah about it all. (UG aint got nothing on grad school. For reals.) In my 7+ years in school, I have been drained. Shoot, in life, I have been drained.

I've always known I was going to attend graduate school. My undergrad degree was to start my career. This MBA is for me. A goal of mine. I might complain (a lot), but I would not quit. Too much time has been dedicated to my schooling to quit. I was always of that mind. Even in the beginning of my MBA program.

Alas, school is not for everyone. I will continue to ask my coworker about school, but won't push her into finishing. Drive cannot be forced.

Speaking of work, I'm starting to get annoyed with a certain "friend." (We're FB friends, but not friend friends, got it?) You know, the type who complains about ev-ery-thing? The one who always has too much work to do and is overwhelmed by it? The kid who wants to throw fits when something doesn't go his (or her) way? You know anyone like that…?

You're lucky if you don't.

This girl is so unprofessional. Let me count the ways.

1. Blew up at a senior 3-4 times because of his "condescending" tone.  Keep in mind, I have worked with this same senior my entire career. Sure, I've wanted to tell him where to go a few times. However, not once have I raised my voice, nor did I tell him that what he was explaining to me was unnecessary because I am an accountant–"I went to school for that; you don't need to tell me." *Newsflash*Textbook work and real-life work are completely different.

2. Tell your supervisor that your workload is just too much and that someone else needs to do it. In the same breath, refuses to work any overtime or even a few minutes late. Hmmm.

3. Complains about other people's PAY. Because she has access and can see other's pay**, it's her right to see what counterparts are making. Then, proceeds to complain about her lack of pay. Some people in this country don't have jobs, yet she can bitch about not getting paid enough. [See 1 & 2 above for two of the reasons!]

**This pisses me off! In a conversation about someone else's payout/bonus, my "friend" proceeds to tell me how she looked up my pay. WTF!!  I was speechless. I thought I was hallucinating. Nope, she honestly told me she invaded my privacy. There is no excuse for that type of behavior.

4. Calls her mother, who works at another district, rather than talking to senior accountants about system issues. Yes, her mom is knowledgeable, but how does it look when you don't even ask questions to your immediate supervisor?

5. Loud, personal phone calls about family issues in the middle of the work day.

Needless to say, I am distancing myself from my FB friend. I wish I could give limited status to people in real-life situations.

I always seem to have a lot to say on a variety of things and blogging seems like a good outlet. I am pretty random, so I am liable to talk about life, love, school, work, politics, whatever and they might all end up in the same blog, lol. My life has changed so much in just one year, who would have ever thought. I guess I will begin my blogging career with some words of wisdom I received that helped carry me through the last crazy year. 

Accustomed as we are to change, or unaccustomed, we think of a change of heart, of clothes, of life, with some uncertainty.
—Josephine Miles

Being used to a situation, even a painful one, carries with it a level of comfort. Moving away from the pain, changing the situation, be it job, home, or marriage, takes courage and support from other persons. But even more it takes faith that the change will benefit us. For most of us, the pain will need to worsen.

In retrospect, we wonder why it took us so long. We forget, from one instance to the next, that a new door cannot open until we've closed one behind us. The more important fact is that a new one will always open without fail. The pain of the old experience is trying to push us to new challenges, new opportunities, and new growth. We can handle the change; we can handle the growth. We are never given more than we can handle, and we are always given just what we need.

Experience can't prepare us for the ramifications of a new change. But our trust in friends, and our faith in the spiritual process of life, can and will see us through whatever comes.

If a change of any kind is facing me today, I will know that I am not alone. Whatever I am facing is right for me and necessary to my well-being. Life is growth. The next stage of my life awaits me.

Per request  , I am updating you guys on “the break up.” Man, it doesn’t seem like it’s been that long, but it really has. A couple of weeks after my last post, we decided it wasn’t working and that we should stop talking altogether. I am pretty sure he went along with it, but wasn’t happy about it. I told him I appreciated the changes he was trying to make, but I felt like I was a distraction to him. I never wanted him to use me as an excuse for changes he knew he should have been making. He said I was the reason he got back into school…that I encouraged him. That’s true, but not because I wanted him in school–he wanted it. I had to draw the line at becoming an excuse. He wanted to make changes before we even met. His “motivation” was me, rather than bettering himself. I found that rather strange, but maybe that’s just me being a jerk. IDK.

I spoke with him for about ten minutes this weekend.  It was kinda weird talking to him for the first time since parting ways. He is doing well. School and work are keeping him busy. I did ask him if he was angry at me. He said, at first, he was, but not so much anymore.  I mean, I still care about him, but at this point in our lives, it will not work. Believe me, we’ve tried. :Kanye shrug:

I’ve decided to share with you all again. One reason is because it’s therapy to me. I went back and read older blogs while going through issues in the relationship with L and it really opened my eyes to some things I was not fully seeing.  Another is, you keep asking! I apologize for disappearing on you all! I will do better, I promise!

Update on L and I. We stopped dating in April, after I caught him in some lies. After several weeks we agreed to be friends because of a common association we have. The animosity between us was very noticeable at on of the associations functions. We agreed to try to be friends and not enemies. The friendship went fine for a month or so, then he began crossing the lines of our friendship. Calling and texting me too much. Asking could we date again. I told him I felt the communication was too often and why we could not date. Which only shut him up for about a week. Long story short, we are no longer friends. I found out he was still lying and deceiving when were only friends. I shared something information with another party involved in all this and washed my hands of him.

Update on my dating life, I am still dating, no one exclusively. A friend of mine told me to date and have fun, that is exactly what I have been doing. While having fun I am getting to know a few gentlemen. I even have a crush on a fellow! Overall, I am not rushing into anything and looking forward to what the future holds for my love life!

I’ve told people about the break up only because they’ve asked, “how is Donovan?” and I don’t feel right lying to people.  When I do, here comes the 0.02. A “well if it’s meant to be…” is fine, but leave it at that, please. Don’t try to tell me to go ahead and see what else is out there. Don’t tell me that I’m over-reacting. Blah blah blah. It’s like I am not entitled to my own feelings.

Some times I can appreciate those on the outside of a situation giving input…this is not one of those times. Someone even tried to suggest that I sign up for another dating site. I don’t get it. I’m not shutting the door on a new man coming into my life, but dang. It’s only been TWO weeks. Was I supposed to go out the next day in my freak’um dress? People these days…

Yesterday, I broke up with Dono. I really don’t feel any kind of way about. One of my friends thinks this is because I have been over it for a longer period. I felt relief when the words came out. I was waiting for him to ask questions, but he was silent. So, we got off the phone. It was a five minute convo. It felt weird hanging up without him asking anything.

I went about my day… This morning he sent me a text, asking me to call him before I went to work. I did. The questions started. I have been overwhelmed with his excuses of why he can’t do certain things and why he obliges his family’s BS. He doesn’t get it. We have had countless conversations about the specific issues–none of which he sees as a problem.

He believes it’s the distance and I should be able to think back on the “good times” until he can move to TX. I strongly disagree. If I feel this way now, I doubt moving here would be a solution. Plus, he wants to move here so he can be more independent. That’s all well and good, but he uses me as the reason as well. To me, he should get it together before any type of move. I am the only person he would know here. I can just see his dependence on his family changing to a reliance on me.

I’ve told him I feel detached from him, which (again) he believes it’s the distance. Well, many times when we are on the phone, he is distracted by whatever is in front of him–TV, schoolwork, etc. There is no time for us. He chooses to do those things while we are on the phone, so really how else could I feel? It’s like he wants me there only when he has time to fit me into his schedule. So I feel, he doesn’t need me to be around.  I’m sure we’ll talk again…I’ll keep updating this.

#1 Do not disappoint me

If you say you are going to do something do it. It’s pretty simple. Words mean nothing without the action behind it! Examples of this are: If you say we are going on a date. Have a plan. Do not cancel over some bull either! I will look at you like you’re the bull you spoke.

#2 Do not do things at the last minute

This is connected to #1. Canceling or changing plans at the last minute bothers me! I understand when it’s an emergency, but when you just bs’ing then you need to get the hell on!

#3 Do not contact me everyday

In the early stages of dating (first few weeks) do not call or text me everyday. This will quickly be ignored or responded to extremely late. Not because I’m being a mean or playing games, but because I don’t want to talk to you everyday! I do not know you like that!

#4 Actions speak louder than words

This ties into #1. Show me that you like me as well as saying it! Instead of only talking about where you want us to go, lets go there! If you are all talk then I do need to waste my time on you!

I’m tired of being disappointed, men not respecting my time, ignoring call and hearing fake promises! So these are my new pet peeves… and rules!

I have shared with you all my fear of falling in love. It is connected to my fear of being hurt. We all know there are plenty of Mr. Wrong’s out there. Sometimes the process of figuring out they are wrong gets us hurt. Shoot my previous Mr. Right did a 180 degree turn and became Mr. Wrong in a matter of months.

I believe those closest to us can hurt us the most. I use to keep so many people at a distance because of my fear. Now I know getting hurt is a risk we take when becoming close to others. I am taking this risk daily!

]]> http://blogs.brownandbridal.com/getting-hurt/137/feed/ 1 http://blogs.brownandbridal.com/frustrated-tired/132/ http://blogs.brownandbridal.com/frustrated-tired/132/#comments Thu, 18 Dec 2008 19:03:11 +0000 Apearl http://blogs.brownandbridal.com/?p=132 This dating thing is taking a tool on me. It’s frustrating. I had a friend try to tell me I started dating to soon after ending my marriage. I’m sure many would agree with her. I don’t. I’m glad I did. Kept my life, social and romantic, moving. I’ve done the morn a relationship thing and it didn’t turn out well! Not a cute look on me.

The adjusting and figuring things out for something that will probably end next week, is annoying! Like seriously! I guess I’m just having a bad “dating life” day. I have wrote before about baggage, adjusting and other stuff. It’s easier to type about it than to deal with it daily! : screams :

I know relationships take work and I have to date for things lead to more, but the last few days have been rough. I’m frustrated and need to vent! I know there will be better days with rainbows and gum drops. I’m impatiently waiting for one of them to show up!