I’m afraid of love

Filed in April 3 comments

I am going to admit it, I am scared to fall in love again.  I have been told and believe I do not have unconditional love (in relationships).  I know it may seem strange, but I don’t love unconditionally.  Maybe my expectations of love are out of whack.  Or what I expect and give is.  Or maybe this is just me.

 I think that my “conditions” are normal.  I will love myself and keep certain personal priorities no matter what.  I feel those keep me from being in bad relationships and help me stay connected to me.  It helps me keep my connection with myself that gives me the strength to do what I need to no matter what.

 I know that I hold a piece of my heart back when I fall in love.  I have tried to change this, but I think it is not something that will.  It is not like I try to, it just happens.  I believe it goes with my issues with trusting people.  I trust people but they don’t surprise me when they break it.  It’s the same with my heart.  So I guess the way I love is with a protective barrier.

 I worry that this is going to hinder me.  I figure whoever I end up with will know that this is me.  They will be understanding and work with me on it.  I am sure it is possible for me to change this.  In the meantime, I catch myself now holding back and fighting feelings.  Sometimes it is my normal barrier.  Other times it is me worried that it’s too soon to like or care about someone.  Who determines the time frame?

Posted by Apearl   @   22 July 2008 3 comments

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3 Comments

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Jul 22, 2008
6:00 PM
#1 Charanne :

You determine the time frame. Whenever you are comfortable should be the time. If your partner can’t accept that, then I am of the opinion they are not your life partner. Eventually, you will be able to hold back your feelings less and less–and this is coming from someone with trust issues too.

Jul 25, 2008
2:50 PM
#2 Marita :

Well I must say that is deep > And you Determine that of time and when and where . Your Heart ans soul will let you knwo you are ready. But DOn’t worry we all have a little fear in love

Jul 25, 2008
8:48 PM
#3 Gia (chosen07) :

your thoughts in the 2nd paragraph…”I feel those keep me from being in bad relationships and help me stay connected to me.” so true. so true.
i think initial fear is good/healthy in protecting ourself. I have/had major trust issues…then there came a point where baring my soul was something I needed to do with my husband(then bf). it was weird. it was scary. it took more than 3years, in fact- I feel I am still working on it…but I go back to this scripture “there is no fear in love; perfect love cast out fear”. I think its the same with all of us who was hurt/broken and who are willing to jump back in the game. take it slowly, don’t focus on that aspect but have fun and get to know each other.
oh yea…i don’t think any of us love unconditionally unless its a parent-child relationship. is it even practical/healthy to love someone without thought to your own well-being???

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