Monday Motivation #4 Fool me once…

Filed in Keepin' it Diva , THE BABBIES , THE HDIC 4 comments

So all my life, I've always heard people tell me over and over again: "You're  way toooo nice, Senam!"  I've had people confront me and even accuse me of fakeness for my constant nice demeanor, sunny disposition, and my dedication to keepin' it diva in every way… I turn the other cheek, every time because that is really and truly the way I am. Its just the way God made me. I'm just the kind of person who will give and give, and make sure that everyone around her is happiest and taken care of at all times.

No matter what happens with those people around me, I try to maintain my sense of myself at all times. I'm not an angry, selfish, or inconsiderate person. So if somebody show those or any other foul behaviors to me, I'd instantly forgive them, forget that mess ever happened and continue to put their happiness at the forefront. You know me, No matter what… I keep it movin'!

Above any and all else, I have always attempted to be kind, respectful, and uber considerate of others. Really and truly before I make decisions,  I always take a moment  to think about how my choices may affect those around me.

How might this complicate the lives of those around me?

Is this somehting that is going to cause someone any kind of pain or discomfort?

If any of my wants or wishes seem to,possibly, sorta kinda, maybe cause any semblance of slight inconvience for anyone, I'd forego my hearts desires so as to not "put anyone out" or "make anyone have to make any changes" cause of me.  All the while bending over backwards, forwards, sideways AND BEHINDWAYS  to do EVERYTHING I can to make sure they can do WHATEVER they want…  I, mean, who am I to request anybody to do anything for me (sarcasm)…

So I've walked through everyday of my life  with the golden rule, "do unto others as you would have them do unto you"  as my constant and solid creed for living. I've always thought every one else was  doing this,as well…  That may be laughable for some of you but I really do… LOL

Now, right behind  "do unto others", I've also lived my entire life with a steadfast policy of "Forgive and Forget."

My capacity for forgiveness know no bounds. I've always chosen to forgive those who have hurt me and forget about the anguish their choices may have caused me. Even when some of these people don't cop to the wrongdoings, don't ask for my forgiveness, and at times continue on with the same behaviors that  damaged me in the first place…

I have always forgiven those people and completely forgotten the indescrestions. Cause I've always understood that holding a grudge or hate for someone is more harmful to yourself than to them. Nothing is to be gained from hanging on to anger or anguish. And I'm a happy fierce, fabulous, kind of chick so there is not time for any of that nonsense.

BUT lately as I've been making changes and evaluating all aspects of my life,  I've come to the realization that in some cases, Forgive and Forget has been causing me more harm than good…

 So for me the monday motivation  for this week is….


Now this comes with a Caveat… If you are the petty type, who still pissed off at that chick at the drive-thru who only gave you 2 ketchups instead of the four like you asked for… You keep it pushing and move away from this post…

But if you are like me: hyper-forgiving of folks who by no means deserve it.  Than this is for you…

You know, there are several times in my life where I've found myself in the same situations that I swore I would never allow myself to be put in to again. Sometimes I'd find myself there and have NO IDEA how the hell I got back there…

So, I've had to evaulate. I'm not absolving myself for any of the steps that I've taken to put myself in to these less than ideal situations: I'm grown. And some shit… I  should've just ,know better.

But setting my own mess ups aside, for the moment,  I am CLEARLY realizing, one of the reasons why I get back in the same situations:

I keep forgetting what I had to forgive some of these folks for in the first place. 

Some of these people I'm forgiving are putting me back into these fucked up situations again and again…. They haven't changed their behaviors in a manner that is worthy of my forgetfulness.

Some of them, do these really jacked up things to me and then have the unmitigated gall to tell me I need to ask them to forgive me for making them do these fucked up things…TO ME!  Huh?

You acted a fool with me, and now you want me to apologize for supposedly "making you" act a like fool? Sorry, homie…

Now why on earth will I continue to forget what they've done in the past and then allow them to  have any part of my future?

Now don't get me wrong…. I still plan to forgive everyone who wrongs me… But I will not forget what has happened AT ALL!

Cause in the never forgetting is me remembering me…

Remembering what MY final destination of joy is…

Remembering the greatest joy that  God wants for me, is for me!

And that some folks can't get to glory with me.

Remembering that unfortunately sometimes, everybody ain't on your side. Remembering that sometimes people, even those who are supposed to be, who purport themselves to be for you, are actually against you. ( I know I'm just as shocked as you are ;)  

And that folks who set up roadblocks for you in every way aren't meant to be forgiven and welcomed back in to your lives completely every time… Some folks are the way they are for a reason ,which may mean, that they need to be kept at arms ( or several football fields)  lengths away.

Some folks need to be forgotten from your life completely forever… So forgive those folks and forget you ever knew their tails….

But for the folks who you have to deal with and be around at times… Forgive them for their mess… but never, ever forget….

Stay fierce, fabulous, and forgiving from,

Posted by Admin   @   8 February 2010 4 comments

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Feb 8, 2010
2:27 PM
#1 Monique :

I my dear, absolutely love this and began subscribing to this philosophy last year. It has really helped me progress in life. 

Feb 8, 2010
5:19 PM
#2 Hazelred :

I completely agree and I'm starting to understand this concept. Just because you forgive doesn't mean you have to lie down and take what ppl dish out.

Feb 9, 2010
5:02 PM
#3 Candace :

This is such a great post. Keep pressing Senam.  I fell in love with a song that deals directly with this issue., by 21:03 called "Everybody can't go. The song simply says-"Everybody can't go, where you need to go. Gotta seperate your life in order to grow"  Check it out!

Aug 16, 2019
4:17 PM
#4 Feederctp :

???????,??????????! .

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