Single, Taken, Engaged, Married, Single Again

Filed in April , Uncategorized 16 comments

I was married on October 7th, 2007 in an intimate ceremony at The Stanley House, a beautiful Southern home in metro Atlanta.

Our wedding day was three months after we became engaged. I put a lot of work into planning our special day, but now that I look back I realize it was not that serious. Not because we are no longer together.

Because of the stress and pressure I added on myself.

I am sure you are wondering why we are not together. Well, neither of us is perfect. R, the ex-husband, felt that some of the agreements we made before getting married were no longer acceptable. He is in the military, and that alone added stress to our marriage. Then he started changing his mind and making crazy demands. And then there’s just life in general, and we all know how crazy that can be.

Did we try counseling? Nope, he refused.

Did we pray? Yes.

Did we cry? Yes.

Did we try? Yes.

Did it work? No.

We separated in April.

In two years I went from single…..

to girlfriend….

to wife…

to single, again….

WOW I’m dizzy from typing all that.

I could be bitter. I could change my view on love and marriage. I could cut his behind! I could do a lot of things, but I’ve decided to move on. Call the whole situation a Lesson Learned (great track on Alicia Keys’ new album). I know that God put me in that situation for a reason and I will not shoulda coulda woulda this or anything else in my life.

Even though I am no longer a bride or newlywed I am proud to be on Brown and Bridal. I have learned how many women have been in my place and it has given me strength. I know that being a part of this community will help me continue to heal. I hope that my presence will help other brides as well.

Posted by Apearl   @   11 June 2008 16 comments

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16 Comments

Comments
Jun 11, 2008
2:57 PM
#1 chariseraynee :

You’re a rock star, little sis! Keep ya head up! You’re powerful and strong to have made such a decision for yourself!

Jun 11, 2008
6:36 PM
#2 Durhambride :

You will be okay April, just know that everything happens for a reason…. and if need be I will shank his behind.

Jun 11, 2008
8:31 PM
#3 bemarsha :

I admire the way that you are handling the situation and not allowing it to consume you. You are providing women with such a good example of how to handle adversity and disappointment with grace.

Jun 11, 2008
9:31 PM
#4 shortcake :

You did a spiritual move. The decision you had done can inspire others. There so many people stay in a relationship for the wrong reasons such as for society. They don’t want to look bad in front of people. Like you said “God put me in that situation for a reason” a reason to learn from. God has your back and he will see that you heal and live your life to fullest. Peace and Luv

Jun 11, 2008
10:22 PM
#5 Von :

April, you’re such an inspiration to so many women AND men who think that one chance at happiness is their last chance. Keep speaking up…keep blogging!! Your words are a true healer…not just for you…but for some poor soul out there who may not realize that a broken heart CAN be healed!!

Jun 11, 2008
11:23 PM
#6 Shantell :

It happens more times that not. Keep your head up and put god first and lets remember that no one is immune to this.

Jun 12, 2008
12:38 AM
#7 Shordee :

I have been a lurker on the Knot for the past 6 months and I must tell you that you are truly awesome. I’m not talking the stereotypical “strong black woman”-awesome, I mean AWE-inspiring awesome! Your entries on the Knot were fun filled often love filled towards those you had become cool. The point I’m trying to make is that I couldn’t and didn’t tell through your posts of advice and fun that you were weathering a storm. I pray for your continued healing and for Him to give you peace and comfort. YOU ROCK ::holds up two thumbs like a corny lurker would hidden behind her screen::

Jun 12, 2008
1:22 AM
#8 Erinn :

I really was touched by reading this. So happy to hear (not that I expected anything less) that you are growing from the experience and learning, instead of dwelling like some of us would naturally want to do. Keep a smile and keep praying!

Jun 12, 2008
2:03 AM
#9 Apearl :

Thank You All! I am glad that I have a great support system of babs!

Jun 12, 2008
11:23 AM
#10 TifNini324 :

Only you and God know what’s best for you. You’re a strong woman, April! Luv ya!

Jun 13, 2008
12:57 AM
#11 kendence :

April,
Thank you so much for sharing that. I’m glad your not bitter too. My mother is divorced.. and she always says to me..”The break-up, doesn’t have to “break” you. Your words were truly inspiring..
Keep ya head up.. God has something WAY BETTER instore for you..
sorry so long..
~kendence~

Jun 21, 2008
7:44 PM
#12 Anyel :

April

Thanks for sharing with us. From just reading your responses to forums and your blogs, you are a strong woman..You will get through this and its a good thing that the two of you are trying to remain friends. There is someone out there for you, it will take time..Do whats best for you and your daughter.. Stay strong..

Jul 11, 2008
3:38 PM
#13 mikesgrwife :

This is beautiful and you are so strong. Thank you for sharing and as cliche as it sounds, god has a plan for you and you will come out victorious. You have a beautiful daughter and you are a strong and beautiful woman. Keep it up!

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