Having a long-distance relationship has had its benefits, such as helping us communicate, wanting to spend more time together, giving us the opportunity to miss each other. But it has also had its disadvantages, having a long-distance relationship is tough, we have to try and make time for each other and I am always tired, because I spend my weekend driving back and forth to see him and my family.

For me to move where he is, I would have to completely give up my current career track. I was already thinking of doing public affairs or communications for a company or non-profit, or go into teaching, but for teaching, I would have to go back to school for my certificate. There are no opportunities for me where he is now though.

For me, changing career paths, is a big decision and something I want to be based on ME and how I feel with the way things are going. I don’t want to do it, just because it is easier or solely because it will get us in the same city.

FI wanted me to just take any job I can find to be in the same city with him, and honestly, I just did not want to do that. I worked pretty dang hard to get my degree, so just working security at a community college or being a teller at a bank part-time, was not for me. If I end up going back to school for my certificate, I would probably substitute part-time.

For FI, a job is just a means to make money. As long as he continues to make enough to get by comfortably, he doesn’t care. And that has been working for him. He just got recruited to work at a larger retailer and is going to take the position. For him, he made more money and had more flexibility to move to the same city as me so it was a no brainier. I can’t knock his hustle, he is a great manager and has been recruited for his last three jobs moving to larger companies — each time for more money.

At the end of the conversation, which went a lot smoother than I thought, FI was fine with the decision. He said he knew when he met me, I was all about my career and he respects that. At the end of the day, as long as I have time for our potential future children and keep my family first when it is time, he just wants me to do what makes me happy. His only stipulation — that I tell his parents about the wedding being pushed back. I think they are going to be slightly disappointed. What type of mess is that? I told my mom (who was ecstatic by the way… but that is another blog)!

I am no longer a 2009 bride. I know people I talk with often are happy I have finally made a decision, because it has been weighing on me for a while. However, I don’t know if I am still 100% OK with it. I still feel like the reasons I have for pushing it back are selfish.

For those who don’t know, FI and I live in two separate cities, about 80 miles apart. He was going to move to where I am, but with the horrible economy and current cut backs at my job, it didn’t seem like a smart move.

FI was fine with a long-distance marriage until we got in the same city, but for me, nothing about it seemed smart. I was afraid to talk to him about just officially pushing it back and instead, left it up in the air. But with six months to go, I finally had to say something. Even if we miraculously got in the same city, six months is not a lot of time to plan. Plus, there are a couple of people who needed to book flights and travel accommodations, and it was unfair to keep waiting. Plus neither of us saved like we were supposed to, so financially, it would have been difficult.

But I just feel like he is okay with going to the courthouse and having something with just us and just having me be his wife, and I just don’t want to “do it just to do it.” The plan is to only do this once, so I don’t want to look back and wish, or hold 50-11 more renewals to make up for the one I didn’t have.

So in the end, I hope this is the first and only time the wedding gets pushed back. And now I have more time to prepare, plan and save. Hopefully FI will be okay with me being selfish or maybe my feelings about the situation will change. Either way it goes, bye July 26, it was fun while it lasted.

I always wanted to get married, but never imagined the dress or the decor. Frankly all that picking table cloths and chair sashes never crossed my mind, and still doesn’t. I guess I am just a simple kinda girl. All of that is nice if you have the money, but for me, it is not a necessity

It is funny because I never imagined this much thought would go into every detail of a wedding. But not knowing anything about weddings (more than being a flower girl… toss and smile, toss and smile) I hit the Internet on where to start. Instantly I was bombarded with thoughts and ideas I have never imagined or could never afford — dang Internet.

I was talking to FI about the wedding and everything I read online and he asked me why do we need all that. I thought about it, and I told him because I wanted it to be an elegant event. His response: “But we aren’t elegant!” My initial response was to go off! And I did. But I thought about it, and in a sense, a very very small sense he was right (I will type that but NEVA admit it out loud)!

If I never paid any attention to it at a wedding before, why at mine. Now am I saying we are going to have plastic table cloths and a bunch of plastic and metal chairs that don’t match, NO of course not. But I am not going to put a focus (and a bunch of money) into something I have never paid much attention to.

So my motto, as long as it looks nice… I’m all for it.

This year has flown by and changed my life tremendously. I have heard and read that planning a wedding can bring out the worse of people and boy do I know that now. Our relationship has been tested, but we made it through. My relationship with my family has also changed. In the end, I am pulling out of this a better, stronger person. And all I know is that, I love my FI and I can’t wait to be his wife and start this new journey together.

I remember when Fi told my mom he wanted to marry me, she pooped her pants like he had just asked her. And what was her response: “I am not ready for this.” Later I told her she doesn’t have to be ready for anything. For some reason she thinks that she will be “loosing me.” In all honesty, she lost me a long time ago. I was not going to be like her, and that was my motivation. She has ALWAYS lived under my grandmother’s roof, never wanting to live on her own. She has not been in a relationship since I was little. I was never like that. I always dreamed of my own place, my own family and a career.

And I am making that happen — for me!

But in the end, at 23, the little girl image that my family is trying to hold on to is all grown up, and they needed to realize that. Unfortunately that realization had to be my engagement.

So now, relocation is my top priority so FI an I can live in the same city. Unfortunately if that doesn’t happen, the wedding may be put off another year. But in the mean time I am slowly planning and getting stuff together hoping I can still have my July 26 wedding.

So far on my checklist, my dress and bridesmaid dresses have been a huge check. Because of my checks, I changed my colors. Originally I wanted lilac and white, but now it is more of a raspberry and soft pink, with lilac accents. That is likely to change knowing me, but we will see.

But, that is my life in a very small nutshell and I am looking forward to sharing my wedding journey with all my BABs.